A coworker told me a story today, about her son who is currently on his “mission” in the Philippines. She said he was talking with a local man, who professed to be gay, about becoming a Mormon. The man was very interested, but the son stressed that he would have to “change his ways”, and the guy agreed to it

……………….

Yeah.

First off, telling this story to a person who has friends and family members that are gay is, to say the least, extremely offensive. I didn’t say anything at the time, because even though I talk a good game (like here), I am not one to quickly jump to confront someone and get in an argument. So I tried to let it roll off my back. But, darn it, it got under my skin instead.

I don’t think the guy was gay. Because how can you give up a part of who you are for something? Anything? If any religion told me I had to be….gay, for instance….to be accepted, I couldn’t do it. It’s not who I am. So the million dollar question is:

Why would ANYONE want to be a part of a religion that made you change who you were to be accepted?

Isn’t god supposed to be loving and accepting and forgiving? Aren’t people supposed to be made “in his image”? I’ve also heard “god doesn’t make mistakes”. So why, then, do gays have to not be gay to be religious? I know this isn’t an issue with only Mormons. Years ago I had a pamphlet left on the table in my office waiting room from a local church about how gays were an abomination or some such nonsense. I was furious that it was left where my clients might see it and think I put it there for them to read.

Religion is not supposed to be a front for spreading hate. It is supposed to be about lovingkindness, inspiration, someplace you know will accept you and love you when no one else does.

When that happens, you might see me in a church again.

Don’t hold your breath…..

Long story short….no, I didn’t do any nudes, but yes, I did show some of my assets. A few days later, he sent me two of the pictures, saying, “Having trouble picking my favorites of the others”. He said he took around a hundred pictures.

I hear nothing from him for a week, then he posts some pictures on Facebook of a skinny girl in a bikini, saying, “I was up all night processing pictures”.

Really?! Seriously?!

I sent him a short email, saying that he hurt my feelings and I felt that I wasn’t going to get to see any more of my pictures because I saw where his priorities were. He never replied, and today his Facebook profile is gone.

I just want to see my pictures! It kinda creeps me out that this happened, and he has those pictures of me.

I will share one of the photos, the other is awesome but it is not getting posted on the internet:

In other news, lots is going on. I moved in with my sister, and that is going well. I’m looking at going back to school for a nursing degree. I’m knitting…finished a shawl, and started a sweater. My cat is sick, so she’s being carted to the vet today.

I’m not the biggest fan of change, I have my days where it really gets to me and I’m the weepy girl in the break room (true story, sorry coworkers), but I think overall I handle change pretty well.

More change.

I’m getting ready to leave my little sanctuary, my apartment, the place I moved into kicking and screaming and crying, wondering why I was divorced and moving into an apartment and starting over at 35. The place where I got a new job, met a bunch of wonderful people I call friends, fell in love, had my heart broken, and made friends with an adorable gray and white cat.

More change.

I’m packing up my things and moving in with my sister. It will be temporary, a blip on the radar, but it means I have to put most of my things in storage, try to only keep the bare necessities and cram them in a bedroom, leave that precious gray and white cat behind, acclimate my cat to living with 2 big dogs.

More change.

I also found out recently my ex-husband is remarried. No big surprise to me. Maybe the third time will be the charm for him. What I was surprised to find out was that his new wife is pregnant, due in May. I want to be happy for him, that wasn’t a path I wanted to take myself, so good for him to finally find his happiness. But it’s so soon. How did he get all this in less than a year and a half? Here I am, still struggling with work, love, life.

More change.

I look forward to it. Hopefully my happiness is on the horizon.

Thankfully I was on my banking website a few days later, when I noticed a charge from the insurance company for the monthly premium for the new insurance. I quickly transferred some money over to cover the charge, which unfortunately didn’t arrive soon enough in my account and I got hit with an overdraft fee. I was tempted to cancel my old insurance right away, but a little voice told me to wait until I received paperwork stating I was indeed covered. At this point I had not received an email or any kind of confirmation I was approved.

Picking up my mail, I see two envelopes from the insurance company. The first one (2/1/11) stated they received my application, and proceeded to tell me they charged my monthly premium while they were deciding if they would cover me or not. The second letter, a day later (2/2/11), said they were denying me coverage. Who charges you before deciding if they will provide you service or not?! And an EMAIL notifying me of this should have been mandatory, not a snail mail letter.

I am, of course, still waiting for my refund. And the insurance company will receive a strongly worded letter from me, which never seems to actually do anything but make me feel a little better for venting.

Why are breakups so hard on the ego, even when you know it’s coming? I had been thinking for weeks, “If he doesn’t change X, I’m done this time. I just can’t take it anymore”, but I kept holding on, and then he asks me in a text message “What’s going on between us?”. I tell him I’m upset because I don’t think his heart’s in it anymore, but we should get together and talk, then WHAM. He replies “You’re right. My heart’s not in it anymore. I’m starting to see you as more of a friend”. In a TEXT. Which should piss me off to no end and make me grateful I’m rid of such an insensitive asshole. But it still hurts. That someone could end a year-long relationship so callously. Coldly.

Then the song lyrics haunt you. Every sad, sorry breakup song pulls at your heart. You feel their pain. Maybe you even start crying. Stuff like:

I can’t believe you’re really gone now/But I know it’s for the best/And I know that we weren’t right/I still reach for you each night/And man that hurts like hell  –Faith Hill, “Stronger”

Ad infinitum.

So this girl’s back on the dating scene. Looking for that man that won’t quash her heart via text message, or, dare I say, at all? He’s gotta be out there. Hopefully he likes women who rock the short spiky hair, cuz I cut it off again:

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I have been knitting lately, though not as much as I’d like. I’m halfway done with my second Susie Hoodie, this one in a soft brown heather, and Lexie has been trying to claim it as hers:

Of course, Thanksgiving is next week, which means Baking Season is in full force! I will be bringing my Mom’s “Outrageous Deep Dish Apple Pie” to my Dad’s house for dessert, along with some Herb Bread for dinner. Then a month of cookies will begin. I have a few recipes I want to try….like Chai Spice Cookies (a variant of Mexican Wedding Cakes), Chocolate-Cherry-Pistachio Pinwheels, and Lime Crescents. Will definitely be making Kolackys for Christmas, and maybe some Banana Cookies.

I already have someone who wants to talk with me about making another t-shirt quilt. Dana showed a guy at work a photo of his quilt, and the guy said he had boxes of old t-shirts at home and wanted to talk with me about making him a quilt.

I have been working on my massage website and Facebook page, but am stalled right now because I need a model so I can get a photo of the cups in action. I’m looking for someone without tattoos (I love ‘em, but for my marketing material, bare is better), and only need a shot of the cups lined up down the spine.

I approached my cupping instructor about becoming an instructor myself, and she gave me the low-down on what I’d need to do to teach for them. Right before I left, she came up to me, hugged me, and said, “Of all the people in the class, I’m glad you asked about instructing. You’ll be a great teacher.” I still get a goofy grin just thinking about it. I’m going to be a teacher!! This is so exciting!! It has been a goal of mine for a long time to teach in some capacity, and I’m finally being given the opportunity! And how exciting for it to be cupping, because I love it so much. It is truly the best therapy out there right now.

There is an Advanced Cupping Class being taught in Las Vegas in April. I am debating whether or not I can afford it, but it really is a matter of I can’t afford NOT to take it. The instructor is Ilkay Chirali, and he has been cupping for a long long time. He works in England, and this will be his first time teaching in the US. I’m going to wait and see what happens in the next few months, hopefully I can afford to go. Dana swayed me by saying it would be fun for us to go together and make a vacation out of it, too. There is a bit of bad timing involved, though. April is when my apartment lease is up, and I’m holding on to the hope that Dana and I will be moving in together then.

Lots to think about, lots to do!